I remember when I was a wide-eyed believer receiving a letter from parents who had been harmed by the school and who had the courage to send a letter to all of the parents. I remember skimming the letter and thinking that they were sadly mistaken malcontents who must've been mentally ill or who were viciously pathological to object to such an amazing and spiritually enlightened instituion. I remember feeling superior and floating in a sense of knowing so much more than my non-W friends.. I had the key to paradise...the Waldorf Way...
I can't begin to describe to you what it has been like to be pushed off of this beautific throne. Now that the basic bruises have healed, I want to tell you that I wish I had kept that old letter and I am so regretful of the judgement I held over "others"... It is a deep and valuable lesson and one I am sharing with *YOU*!
I use the term "wide-eyed believer" deliberately because that is how I felt at the time. I was obedient, trying to please the teachers as they made demands about food, clothes, books, etc. etc.. I let go of my own intuition. I suppose I felt like the infant again...allowing someone to dictate so many parts of my parenting experience.
I was seduced by the beauty - by the promise of giving my children a glowing, golden soul. Little did I know that the beauty was goldplated, propped by deception and my children already HAVE golden, glowing souls...they almost had their spirits robbed by well-meaning, poorly trained, neurotic humans calling themselves teachers and spiritual guides.
I blame myself for eagerly embracing such an easy answer. I feel spiritually connected, I believed that this school would protect my children from the soul death of the media and capitalistic culture. I blame myself for letting go of my intuition as a parent, and - yes - BLINDLY, faithfully, following advice that was justified using Steiner and spiritual science.
I believe my worst mistake is not believing in myself as an authority on my own children;ignoring my feeling of humiliation in the presence of fellow humans who market themselves as spiritually aware.
And yes, I am sure there are aspects of WE that have been lovely for my family... I will only be able to answer this after my daughter has left. I can tell you that the external beauty seems like nothing compared to the joy I feel restored to my children post-W.trauma.